Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Be your own light, be your own truth

Photo by Wendy Hickok
I think I understand how real writers feel when they have the need to let words flow, because sometimes I find it cathartic to express this way.  Yoga is my daily practice, but writing is also an exploration of self care for me.

The guy who first said "ignorance is bliss" really had no clue. <-See what I did there?  All kidding aside, it's an often misconstrued phrase written hundreds of years ago by Thomas Gray.  In his Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College Tom was eluding to a time when he was able to live oblivious to the harsh realities of the world. To his youth.

"For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow." -Ecclesiastes 1:18

I'm not bible reading man, but that verse is quite something.  The truth can be hard to swallow, but it is undoubtedly so that lies and deceit have speed, while truth has endurance.  The Hindi phrase "Satyam Shivam Sundaram" basically means "truth is goodness and beauty."  It's much deeper than that acutally, and if inclined to read more on it, click on the preceding link to see what Osho had to say on it.  It has become a mantra of sorts to me since first hearing it in a well known Thievery Corporation song about four years ago while finding yoga. Thank Shiva. Part of what makes us human is being able to open up, letting our ego aside, and living with some vulnerability - exposing our truths, our stories, to others.  There is freedom in letting go of the walls we fearfully construct to protect ourselves.  While these walls can help in the short term, allowing them to dominate our reasoning and decision making really only ends up caging us in. Sharing, discovering, or learning the truth doesn't necessarily mean needing to share or know all the facts.  

To get to the point of why I started writing this in the first place.  A woman hurt my heart space pretty good not long ago.  Amidst a myriad of things, including what I have been made aware of as less than truths, she used the "I can't love anyone because I've never loved myself" line.  I replied to her statement in the most heartfelt way I could, and in the spirit of being vulnerable, sharing my truth, and maybe helping someone who may not be feeling the best about themselves today, thought I'd share my response.

"I'm no expert on love, and nobody has it all figured out. The key is to get up every day and do your best. That's all anyone can ask. And if your best isn't good enough for another, well then quite frankly they never deserved your love to begin with.

Yes. LOVE YOU! There's so much to love about you.  

Open  your eyes, look in the closest mirror, and say the folllowing...
"I fucking love you!"
"You're fantastic"
"Thank you for getting me to where I am now."
"For teaching me all the lessons I ever learned, and for continuing to teach me until I understand."

Embrace the magnificent spirit you are

Have a sense of Loving kindness, Compassion, Joy, and Equanimity about your life.

towards yourself

PS. love found you.

...and sometimes, when we are weak and downtrodden from the world, that's when the love of another can help carry us through the dark.

...and sometimes it's not about trying to remove the darkness inside of us, it's about turning on the light.

We can never remove the dark in the world, but we can let our light help others."

Goddamn I wish someone would write like that to me.  Anyway, I'm going to do my best to keep my own words close to my heart as I heal, to keep tearing down the walls of fear over being hurt, and to do my best to smile every day...and really mean it.  We can only receive great things when we take great leaps of faith, and that right there is the best way to love yourself and keep on being your own light. Peace out.

Satyam Shivam Sundaram
सत्यम शिवम सुंदरम