Saturday, March 16, 2019

Shadows of Ourselves

We live our lives doing the things we are taught we are supposed to do. We integrate those teachings into the teachings our DNA brings into this world and go forth. We do our best in the process. Sometimes we succeed in pleasing others. We bring them joy with our light. Sometimes we please ourselves and our own light provides a big blast of goodness to our being. Those two aren't always in alignment with who we are. 

Waking up and looking in the mirror liking the person looking back is a good feeling. We get ready for the day, doing our hair, putting on makeup or whatever accoutrements come into the necessity of our situation. We try to put our best selves on to go out in the world and present ourselves as the best we can. It's a hard venture sometimes. Sometimes we don't feel like going through all the mechanics of what it takes to conform to the norms. Sometimes we get lazy and just roll in whatever getup happens to be not too dirty or too wrinkled.

Sometimes we need to just stop. And look. Do we really like that person looking back? Do we get ready for the day because it makes us feel good in doing so, or are we simply going through the motions of the process to fit? 

Today I was walking and noticed my shadow. It was staring back at me in boldness. And then I thought. Our shadows do tell us so much. The way we present ourselves is only a reflection of who we are. The shadows don't care about color. The shadows don't care about our clothes, and they certainly don't care about how we feel. They only reflect when light shines upon us. That's what shadows do. That light reflects back on us and creates a rebound of darkness we can see if we only look in the right direction. 

And then all the other shadows of the other people present themselves to us in the light. Each one of them is very unique in expression. Each one of them has a reflection cast by their truth. These many shadows interact and sometimes blend into one giant blob of a shadow that makes it hard for us to distinguish what the hell that giant shadow represents. Luckily, It's not our job to figure that out. Our task is to keep our eyes on our own shadow teacher.

The point it each one of us has a shadow. It's a dark side of our being that hides when things are bright and sunny. It takes a light from outside to show us where that shadow falls, and when we see it we have an opportunity to stop and look. We have a choice right there. We can either keep walking and ignore it, or we can stop and look at it with discernment for a while and breathe, take notice, and decide the direction we want to walk. 

It's what we do next that really matters.

Which way do we walk from here?

We can either stay and stare at that darkness, or...

just or

We can light a flame inside of us

That flame is knowledge.

We use that knowledge to kindle our flames and become brighter and eventually that particular shadow is gone.

But we are human and life is such a good teacher.

So we keep walking. We keep putting on the best version of ourselves to go out into the world. Alas inevitably another shadow will present itself.

We've learned that stopping and looking is a pretty good idea, so we stop, again. And do the process all over, again.

This is life. 

There is no endstate, there is only practice and process.

Our work is to stand with awareness of the shadows of ourselves and keep doing what it takes to light the fire of internal light.

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