I hesitate to write, but that means I probably should. Random stuff comes out when I do, but that's not necessarily a bad thing...I think. It's been a pretty interesting, yet random month. Have learned quite a bit about people and the pettiness of the web that exists outside of the internet. Admittedly, the internet easily will overwhelm even the most socially "responsible' person, often to a fault, but it's there, it's staying, and it's beautiful. Seems Jeff (me) can do no right by many, but I think we are plagued with the shallow of sight. Continuously criticized, and even pointedly used as an outlet for others' drama and discontent with their own lives... Yes, I feel it necessary to point out that 1), I am happy, 2) I am happy, and 3) Fuck you.
The thing that truly saddens me at this point in my life isn't the Japan earthquake, the starvation in Africa, the flooding in the South... it is that I am not 'connected' to anyone. I desire to be, and am always (to a fault and suicidal at times) throwing myself out there, but it tends to not work as well as I would have anticipated prior to. Tough shit, Jeff. People don't really give a shit outside of their world anyway. Yes, I said it. Japan got slammed, yes, but do I need to send them money? No, I think not. Our own government screws us enough to the point that we probably outta work on fixing the earthquake in our own borders. My home has dropped over 20K in value in the past couple years, effectively preventing me from selling it. My vehicles are taxed on money that has already been taxed, but alas, I should send money to Japan... Yeah, I own a Toyota, which means I already did.
Anyway, enough with the bitching rant I was on.... Ugh, what a negative pile of crap I just spouted!!
Summer is here, which means longer days, less clothing, and the smiles that come from relaxing in front of the firepit, or out in the garage with the cars, dart board, and a replica Waterman's ring/hook game... with either Bob Marley, Fiona Apple, or Thievery Corporation (+ infinite others) tunes jamming. I love doing that with friends... Yeah, c'mon and make some memories with me...
So two comments / questions:
ReplyDeleteYou note that you don't feel truly connected with anyone and that this bothers you. But first, at least on some level, you have to be connected with yourself. Look within and see if that connection is there, or, if there might be a leak somewhere.
And why 'throw' yourself out there. Open yourself up, be your truly awesome, happy self, and the months will come to hover around your light, my friend.
5 cents, please.
;)
B