Wednesday, July 13, 2011

To write until I feel like writing...

I haven't felt much like writing here lately, but that's perhaps a reason I need to just start typing and see what comes out.
I have noticed that some of life's smallest, seemingly harmless words are actually some of the largest, most complex we will face in life, and often times exceed our capability to define.

Example, and here's one of the biggest 'little' words...  if

if - a small, seemingly insignificant, simple word, but infinitely full of meaning...if is the stuff dreams are made of.  As Robert Smith sang it..."There is no if, just when..." (Off of one of my top five albums of all time BTW, Bloodflowers)
If drives us in so many directions.  If I do, if I don't... two quite different outcomes in most cases.  If you do, or don't, over and over, eventually you will get to someplace you may or may have not wanted to be.  If I express my feelings about/for you it may come back to bite my ass, but if I don't, although I remain 'safe', I may never have the closeness with you the would have otherwise been possible... if only, if...  I have learned to shun the fear of worrying about the if, and tend to just throw it out there.  Afterall, what do I have to lose, really?  What do you have to lose, other than potential for things you have only dreamed of.  give it a try, go after your 'if'

Try -  Ah, to try.  Yes, you can do it put your back into it... as Ice Cube put it on wax back in the day...  The word try is almost a back handed compliment, of sorts.  Hey, can you come out to my party next week?  Oh, that sounds awesome, I'll check my schedule and try to make it....  What that really means is, eh, I really am not interested.  Try, such a tauntress, that word is.

Do - I guess do can be a tricky word... we often say I'm going to 'do' this, but that's really often nothing, or quite short of what others' ideas of do-ing are.  Do is vitally important in the grand scheme of things... much more important than 'say'  One of my favorite quotes comes to mind.  (and this is framed on my nightstand) "What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say." Do, or not...

Fair - What is fair?  I probably can't say it any better than The Cure did...

The world is neither fair nor unfair
The idea is just a way for us to understand
But the world is neither fair nor unfair
So one survives
The others die
And you always want a reason why

But the world is neither just nor unjust
It's just us trying to feel that there's some sense in it
No, the world is neither just nor unjust
And though going young
So much undone
Is a tragedy for everyone

It doesn't speak a plan or any secret thing
No unseen sign or untold truth in anything...
But living on in others, in memories and dreams
Is not enough
You want everything
Another world where the sun always shines
And the birds always sing
Always sing...

It doesn't mean there has to be a way of things
No special sense that hidden hands are pulling strings
But living on in others, in memories and dreams
Is not enough
And it never is
You always want so much more than this...

An endless sense of soul and an eternity of love
A sweet mother down below and a just father above
For living on in others, in memories and dreams
Is not enough
You want everything
Another world
Where the birds always sing
Another world
Where the sun always shines
Another world
Where nothing ever dies...
~ now that's some good Robert Smith shit... (The Birds Always Sing)

Funny, now I am thinking of a whole other post I should write about blowing off people that we've made to feel like we care about them.  Rampant in our society with the inundation of texting and social media status updates, emails, etc...  But for those 'few' that we've all thought really do care...that shit rings true.  I have no time for fake, selfish, passive aggressive, patronizing or fearful people.  BE THE PERSON YOU PORTRAY TO THIS WORLD.  BE LIKE THE PEOPLE YOU WANT AROUND YOU. COMPLAIN NOT WHEN THOSE TWO DON'T CONVERGE.

More later, bye, love you!